J.C. Maçek III's "How to become an Internet Movie Critic!

Everybody's a Critic These Days! An Internet Movie Critic that is! Especially me, "Brother Kneumsi!"

Click here for my review of X-Men (2000)! (Use your "Back" Button to return, man!)
Click here for my review of the very unoriginal Planet Of The Apes (2001)! (You should really use that "Back" Button to return, man!)
Click here for my review of Celebrity (1998)! (Hey, Use that "Back" Button to return! This means YOU, man!)
Click here for my mouth watering review of THE ORIGINAL Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)! (You know how to use that "Back" button by now, right, man?)
Click here for the ultimate (or at least fairly salty) review of the televison phenomenon Farscape (1999 - 2003)! (Sit a spell, take your shoes off... Back-Man!)

For More Info...

Want the oportunity to become an internet movie critic no one listens to in your own right? Click here to Register for imdb.com!
Care to see where Buffy went after the events of the movie? Try the Buffy Official Site!
So impressed with my Farscape review that you have to learn more? Pas de Problemme! Check out the Official Farscape Site!
Do you want to learn more about me? Sure, we all do, man! Here's a link to my official Website!

What does this really mean? All definitions can be blamed on Merriam-Webster

In·ter·net ('in-t&r-"net): an electronic communications network that connects computer networks and organizational computer facilities around the world
mov·ie ('mü-vE): a representation (as of a story) by means of motion pictures
crit·ic ('kri-tik): one who engages often professionally in the analysis, evaluation, or appreciation of works of art or artistic performances

Really Deep Thoughts

Resons why to become an Internet Movie Critic...
- Your voice can be heard!
- You can defend your favorite MOVIE!
- You can insult, defame, hose, and in all other ways trash your least favorite MOVIE!
Reasons why NOT to become an Internet Movie Critic...
- No one listens to you anyway!
- Everyone dislikes critics!
- Everybody thinks they are a critic but no one is really qualified to be one!
Either way you choose to go, you have some stiff competition like...
- Ain't it Cool News' Harry Knowles!
- Matt "The Filty Critic" Weatherford!
- Gooden Worsted
- And, of course...ME!

Even Deeper Thoughts To sum this all up for you!

I am an almost completely unknown Internet Movie Critic called Brother Kneumsi, and these are some Films I've reviewed:
1. X-Men (2000)!
2. Planet Of The Apes (2001)!
3. Celebrity (1998)!
4. THE ORIGINAL Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)!
5. Farscape (1999 - Present)! (Yeah, I know it's TV, but that's Fun Too!)
Maybe I'll be better known soon, who knows? Maybe Ed Wood will recieve a Postumous Oscar for Lifetime Achievement!

Mirriam-Webster defines what I (sort of) do as

In·ter·net ('in-t&r-"net)
an electronic communications network that connects computer networks and organizational computer facilities around the world
mov·ie ('mü-vE)
a representation (as of a story) by means of motion pictures
crit·ic ('kri-tik)
one who engages often professionally in the analysis, evaluation, or appreciation of works of art or artistic performances
But I hate reading the Dictionary! I'm waiting for it to come out as a movie!

You can be an Internet Movie Critic too!
- It's FREE (as long as you have internet access)! Just click here and Register to contribute to imdb.com!
- Soon you'll be filling up webservers with Reviews like mine!
- And annoying folks like I do! Not to mention these guys:
  1. Handsome Harry
  2. Jolly Matt
  3. Goofy Gooden
  4. and whomever these guys are!
But remember, some mad HTML student might coopt your image too for a project like this one!

Either way you decide to go, I wish you good luck! But if you decide to become an "IMC" be sure you email me your URL! resurrectionjoe@rocketmail.com (I like to keep track of the monsters I help create!)

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