From:
  JC-JesterCrash
Date:
June 20, 2003 7:24 AM
Subject:
Absolutely real Harry Potter Spoilers
Message:
Well, from what I understand Harry gets picked on 
in spite of the fact that half the crowd thinks 
he's the Messiah, there's a huge contest he 
almost doesn't win, but pulls off at the last 
second.

Meanwhile there is a new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher and there's a dark, menacing,monster controlling MADMAN pulling everyone's strings behind the scenes... then at the last second it's revealed that the whole time said svengali was actually LORD VOLDEMORT the whole time! YES!

How do I know this? BECAUSE IT WAS THE PLOT OF EVERY DAMNED HARRY POTTER BOOK SO FAR!

"Why... Why, it's LORD VOLDEMORT!", screamed Harry! "I can't believe it!"
"No need to believe it... I am here, trapped the whole time in Ron's rat Scabbers! Fooled you!" "Well, here's a magic potion thinly referred to in book three that I just remembered...
now I throw it on you and!" "Oh, what a world, what a world, I melting! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeltiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Foiled by a little boy!" "What goes on here Mister Potter?", said Dumbledore amid the ash, screams and smoke. "Dude, you look different, Dumbledore!", gasped Harry at his professor's lack
of Richard Harris looks! Dumbledore sighed... "Get out of here kid, you bother me!"