About Brother Kneumsi

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by J.C. Mašek III



Brother Kneumsi J.C. Mašek III was born August 23rd, 1974 in Fort Worth, Texas to adoring parents. Having a propensity for aping music heard on the radio (reportedly singing ABBA into bananas as if they were microphones) and imitating that which he saw in the Star Wars movies, J.C. at a young age focused his sights on entertaining others! The combination of Parents in the Medical Profession along with their lack of adoration for each other (though certainly for J.C. and his sister Haley) caused J.C. to move around frequently as a child, eventually settling in to the city in which he would spend most of his childhood, Shreveport, Louisiana!

He also used to think he was Paul StanleyAs he grew he gravitated toward the more entertaining aspects of life, taking guitar, trombone, piano, and acting lessons at various times in his life. The main lesson learned from these sojourns into the humanities was that J.C. had little or no musical talent, but was a marginally better actor than Keanu Reeves. In that J.C. isn't as handsome as Keanu Reeves (or in truth, Ben Stein) a future in Acting seemed unlikely! During high school J.C. pursued acting, as well as Girls, and the Bass Guitar (theorizing incorrectly that less strings translated to less technical difficulty). J.C. performed in such bands as Page Four and Glamourous Vagrancy [sic] as well as sitting in with several other local Shreveport, Louisiana bands!Man!  What a NERD! The majority of these bands dismissed the direction that J.C. wished to take things musically based on his affection for Neo-Punk outfits based in Seattle, Washington. His band mates believing that this style of music would never get off the ground, J.C. was left bandless when Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden all grabbed the limelight! Inspired by bands like Anthrax and Run D.M.C., Glamourous Vagrancy's All Rapped Up was a combination of Thrash and Hip Hop which was likewise considered anomilous in its day. Ten years later every band and its brother was pulling stunts like that! Ahead of his time, or just Oddball? You decide! (J.C.'s high school years also involved run ins with the police as well as a two month hospitalization for depression (!), but why bother getting in to that horse hockey?)

Haley & J.C.J.C. & HaleyDuring this time J.C. was given his erstwhile nickname "Brother Kneumsi" by his younger sister Haley. Both big fans of the Eddie Murphy movie The Golden Child (1986), the name came from Murphy's character Chandler Jarrell's diminutive for his arch-nemesis Sardo Numspa! Being that J.C. was both the only Brother she had and the only Super-Villain she had ever known, Haley deemed this nickname to be both humorous and appropriate. Although originally a name that only Haley used, the frequency of its use spawned many imitators (most notably Radio Personality Neil Kelly)... which eventually caused the nickname to stick like leather pants to a fat man's thighs!

My Own Dumb Ass It was also at this time that J.C. began his first ever Radio Show played on KSCL Radio, Shreveport, Louisiana. The Hard Harry Slag show, co-hosted with friend Andrew Moore (who used the pseudonym "RAM"), proved to be one of the most cutting edge, yet short lived radio programs in the history of College Radio (or so he tells people when he's drunk). Though his Radio Show was cancelled (with the help of the minions of Satan), J.C. was able to find new audiences on stage as a local actor. His success reached a modicum of mediocrity when he starred as "Zach the Director" in the Shreveport Little Theater production of A Chorus Line! Though reviews of the show were mixed, J.C. was referred to as "steady" (whatever the eff you see kay that meant).

As Acting led to stop-starts of success during his first year of College, J.C. took a break from the stage (amid wide lack of notice) to concentrate on his studies. After abandoning plans to become a Journalist (who could give himself good stage reviews), J.C. met Dr. James H. Lake, who inspired J.C. to become an English Major. During College J.C. Paid bills by working as a projectionist and Usher at two movie theatres (one of which introduced him to the woman he would eventually marry!). There J.C. was able to take in an inordinate amount of free movies, the majority of which he panned! He also worked as an Advertising Executive Assistant for a Plumbing Company where he learned basic computer skills. It was at this time that J.C. began working on his Web Page. J.C. began posting stories he had written as well as dissertations to entertain and assist College Students with papers of their own to write. Further expansions of the page featured whacked out self portraits as well as assistance for students to cite sources in Modern Language Association Format (which was a thinly veiled attempt to urge students to quote J.C. as if he was Northrop Fry or something!).

J.C. and Suzanne June 13, 1998After years of taking Film, Art, and primarily Literature Classes, J.C. graduated with flying colors from Louisiana State University with a BA in Liberal Arts focusing on English Literature on May 13, 1998. Exactly one month later J.C. Married his sweetheart Suzanne Olah in a gala (for Catholics) celebration (at which he was denied his right to swing to the altar on a vine and to play electric guitar). An instant Husband and Father, J.C. agreed with his new wife (and then 8 year old daughter) that California is the place they ought to be, so they loaded up a Ryder Truck and moved to... Uh... Tustin. J.C. continues to write both Fiction and Non-fiction and still studies Shakespeare. Ironically enough, J.C.'s education in the humanities has prepared him to be... a computer programmer... and a mediocre one at that. Dreams of recording albums of his own have given way to making Big Mixxx CDs and dreams of performing in films have given way to writing Movie Reviews for The Internet Movie Database. J.C. and his Daughter Alexandra also created and hosted their own syndicated kids Radio Program known as the Silly Show which recorded from December 1998 to May 2003 (and is still syndicated by the American Radio Network to this day).

J.C.'s latest project includes bringing his Movie Reviews back to his own website (still around since April of 1997) and to expand this into his Music, Movie, Literature and Television Review Page (partially inspired by The Filthy Critic). Theorizing that Opinions are like Elbows (everyone's got a couple) and confirming that he did indeed have two elbows, he decided to make his opinions known on the site. Was Hot!

J.C. Lives in Tustin, California with his Wife and (now teenage) Daughter, still programs computers, and still writes to entertain others (but mostly to entertain himself he has learned from disgruntled co-workers). He's still a devout Catholic with a decidedly Liberal bend! He still uses the name "Brother Kneumsi" both as a tribute to his sister's wit, and... because he thinks it sounds damn neat!


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